Let’s begin shall we because I’m going to cook and I’ll let you know when to get off before the main course is in the oven.

Abigail is a perfect example of why I’ve had such contrasted reviews to others recently. Trailers are a great marketing tool. Get the message out and gather interest buzz for an upcoming title. However, to much material is being shown and it’s impacting the movie experience.

The first hour of this movie is a lengthy version of the trailer. – If you didn’t see the trailer then excellent enjoy that first hour because it’s a pretty cool mystery and exploration of the movie before the reveal which so far I’m being totally spoiler free unlike the trailer.

A universe of sorts is created and draws the viewer in for those that have and haven’t seen the trailer. – This is your starters. I hope you enjoyed because from here some enjoy steak medium rare, others rare, medium, burnt, well done ext.

I put up with the meal thus far at around a 6/10 balancing having saw the trailers and being recommended this title by a friend….. sadly I ended up coming out with a 4/10 hoping to have watched Madame Web again.

Okay, let’s start the oven if you want to jump off here to not ruin your dinner.

---

Note to studios. Please make a teaser trailer and MAYBE 1 trailer before the movies release. Especially for movies like this where you spend so much time keeping the reveal (THAT’S IN THE TRAILER) away from the audience that already knows what’s to come. Be smart with the trailer and be deceptive and add mystery within to avoid this. To many trailers and way to many reveals are being shown. Challengers was another great example.

People informed me based on the trailer they expected more of what was being shown. Along with thought the plot took to long to get to where they wanted it to get to based on already knowing the characters from the trailer. I got to enjoy the ride of each character and the plot reveal due to not watching the trailers.

Okay steaks going into the oven now. Let’s get to what brought my 6 down to a 4. The meat and potatoes of my “Rant”.

When so many vampire movies exist and so much lore and tropes have been used. There’s a common and never touched established use of vampires. When you first become a vampire (By the way they literally mention this at the end of the movie which dumb founds me how this occurred) you’re a weak ass vampire. You’re stronger, you’re better than your human self. But never has a new vampire been stronger, even when that vampire is a kid been stronger than an older pre existing vampire which we know from the movie has been AT LEAST 2 years based on another vampire telling us that. Mind you a 2 year old vampire that needs help to kill the child vampire. O.O WTF! Who f$%ked that one up?

Abigail even mentions it takes a long time to learn all the cool shit…. so why didn’t she use any of that when the quirk of her character was that she was a ballerina? Utilize that rather than pushing down on a steak with a human O.O. Whoever wrote the ending of this movie needs to watch some good examples of vampire movies. BLADE the original Blade series. Along with True Blood tv show.

Another reason I bring up this rant and Blade is due to Blade being rebooted by Disney. PLEASE DONT FUCK IT UP!

Lastly for the 4/10 is the movie didn’t even follow its own established lore and plot. When one character is bitten and controlled. (Which took awhile to occur mind you) Why does the other human for 1 instantly get turned and 2 is able to control the master O.o.

If it wasn’t for writing this review / rant I’d of walked out during the 5 different endings this movie could of had. Every time throwing up an over used trope or gimmick horror scene done to death.

If you haven’t watched the trailer then check this out on streaming. If you’re still interested after reading all this then good luck and love to hear your thoughts over this overly cooked meal I’ve prepared.

Thanks for coming to Popped for this burnt batch but look forward to what’s to come with Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes later this week.

Check out better Vampire movies/shows mentioned before or if this is 2020’s version of a Vampire going forth I’m out for this section of the monster verse.